Sharing custody of an infant or toddler can indeed work well, but it requires careful planning, a focus on the child’s needs as they evolve and a high level of cooperation between parents. Infants and toddlers have unique developmental needs that must be considered when their parents work to craft a parenting time arrangement.
Infants and toddlers thrive on stability, routine and consistent caregiving. Frequent changes in their environment can be disruptive, parenting time arrangements should prioritize minimizing transitions while ensuring both parents remain actively involved in the child’s life.
The day-to-day struggle
For very young children, gradual transitions between parents’ homes can help them adjust more comfortably. Initially, shorter and more frequent parenting time durations can allow the child to build a sense of familiarity and security with each parent. Over time, as the child grows and adapts, the duration of one or both parents’ time with the child can be extended. Provisions that allow for this flexibility should be carefully integrated into parenting time plans.
Somewhat similarly, maintaining consistent routines in both households can help to facilitate the well-being of infants and toddlers. Parents should – when possible and appropriate – coordinate nap times, feeding schedules, bedtime routines and other daily activities to provide a relatively seamless experience for the child. Consistency can help a child feel secure and reduce the anxiety associated with moving between homes.
To promote this kind of consistency, open and respectful communication between co-parents is important. Sharing updates about the child’s development, health and daily experiences helps to ensure that both parents are informed and involved. Tools like shared calendars and parenting apps can facilitate communication and help each parent manage their shared schedules effectively.
While shared custody of an infant or toddler isn’t an easy situation to navigate, in many situations, it can be done. Seeking personalized legal feedback is a good way to get started.