One concern that couples sometimes express when they have talked about a divorce but decided not to actually split up is that they want to stay together for the kids. This comes from the belief that it’s better for children to grow up with two married parents in the home, and so even unhappy parents will stay together.
Often, parents will think that they are being noble or making a decision that puts their children above their own desires. But is this always true?
The first thing to consider is the current conflict level in your marriage. In many cases, it can do more damage to a child’s development if they have to grow up around two parents who are always fighting and experiencing these high levels of stress and conflict. It would be better off for them, experts argue, if their parents were divorced, which may lead to lower stress levels and happier relationships for all involved.
Additionally, people often say it’s better for parents to stay together when they actually mean that it’s better for parents to be involved in their child’s life. And it is true that childhood development is often dependent on parental involvement at these key moments. But divorced parents can certainly work together to co-parent and stay involved just as much as they would have if they were married.
Exploring your options
As you can see, it’s very important to carefully consider your child custody options when getting a divorce. You need to determine not only what is best for you, but also how you can set up the divorce terms in the best possible way for your children.